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Humanity. Human Behaviour. 

4 Steps Strengthen Your Character:
even you've been framed

- by Dr. Avery Chong
Dec 30, 2021

Summary. Many of us have has the feelng of being betrayal, framed, and being pressured.  A world wherein daily routines are inundated with hiden agenda of others.  Sometimes we just falled into others trap with your pure intention of help.  This 4 steps help you to stay grounded, focused, remind who you are and most importantly how to get out of it?

Kendo Battle


How to strengthen your character even you've been framed and get out of it?

I believe many of us have the experience of been framed.  Sometimes, it happens unintentionally; misunderstanding or coincidence makes others think that way. Somehow, it sometimes happens because of someone's intentional plot with a malevolence framing with all kinds of reasons behind it. How would you react? 

We often respond with negative emotions such as insecurity, anger, or hatred. The more negative emotions you respond to, the more terrible position you put yourself in. Insecurity emotions would lead you to the endless response of every sentence or point that frames you, which is useless. An angry response makes you lose control, and your reply is hollow but full of notation sentences. It sounds loud but hollow. A hated response makes you blame someone, a situation and points fingers at anyone who might do this to you. Either way, it will make you go down the road. You look like a crazy person. But Why? Here is why...
Each moment you forget who you are, someone steals your identity and makes you become an uglier person in their story. Anyone can use you now, and they will try to make an identity for you so that they can benefit from it. Then, how should you turn the situation around?  


1. Take a step back, smell the true intention by observing

Take a break, clear your head. It would be best to write it down to see a complex situation rationally and simplest form. Who benefits from the situation? Why he does that? Now you smell the real intention. Or maybe it is just a misunderstanding. Either one, if your hypothesis is true, you need to start collecting prof. Solid evidence says a thousand words. You do not want to frame another innocent accidentally. Gathering the evidence and proof through fair investigation is how you turn things around instead of explaining it day and night for something you didn't commit. If it is true, some marks or clues shall have remained. Collect them silently before it was too late. 


2. Remain who you are? What is your value?

Close your eyes, remind yourself who indeed you are. What are your values? Put a gap between you and the problem. The distance makes you realize that you are you, and the problem is the problem—two unrelated entities. You do not react as you are part of the situation. Try to distancing from the messy situation, stay clean, and remind your actual value.   
Breath... breath ... 
Take the attention back to your core values. No matter what happens today, you remain calm, align with your values, and believe it will bring you to walk through the situation. You hold your values solid to the ground, regardless of the wheater of the outer word. It may be the best time for you to show your integrity, right now, under a chaotic circumstance. The way you react is how you tell the world who you are. 
An unfavourable situation tests your value and the character you have built so far. It forges your personality to become a stronger person. As you look back, you are no longer the same person. 
Every time you remind yourself who you are, you withdraw yourself from the identity others created for you. You are not anyone else. You are you.  

3. Response 

It is your time now! Your time to choose the best way to solve the problem aligns with your values. Never turn the back on your values. Once you betray yourself, it will get back to you in an uglier way.
After putting the gap between you are the problem, you have become a problem solver instead of a victim. Now, you are in charge.  
Human reactions to problems with three modes: fight, flee, or dodge. Choose wisely! Which one has the less unfavourable consequences? Ask yourself these questions: Any win-win solution? A 'think out of the box' solution? What are the ripple effects? Is that any way better to do this? 
Once you have thought through carefully, be ready to accept any predicted and unpredicted consequences. Then you execute with no regret, no doubt, firm and rigid.  
You now have turned the situation around. Instead of being a victim, you are a leader; instead of being framed, you are a problem solver; instead of being framed, you reveal the more profound truth. You are even more vibrant than before.  

4. Execute with no harm  
Once you solve the puzzle, bring the spotlight back to the problem itself, back to the root cause. Lead the crowd back to a real problem. If you've done something wrong to make others misunderstand, apologize for making such an impression, and promise would continue to improve it in the future. You may also emphasize that you will hold on to your values. Of course, it would take time to earn others' trust. If you are not an honest person and only do this for the first time, prepare to be criticized. But if you start grinding it and grinding it every day, it is just a matter of them before you completely become a new person. Sooner, your values will shine out.  
Years and years you hold these values, as the code of your living, it will payout. At that point, you don't even need to explain yourself, and others will defend it for you. It is just how nature works.  
Part of the reason malevolent manipulator chooses to frame you is if you do not show a strong identity. Once you build up your strong identity, no one could ever think of doing this to you again.  
Every time you level up, you readjust the boundaries, the gap, the strength of your character. What may be acceptable before may no longer work. The people in your life, the situation, the environment you engage will adjust to meet your new frequency.  
It works like a crab change its shell as it grows. The old shell will no longer serve his new growing body. 
Your personal experience will either grind you or teach you. Take every challenge as a chance to strengthen your character stay strong, and stay humble.  


When you practice put the gap between you and the problem, and the outer you and the inner you, you bring the unconcious to concious.  The process that would train you to opt in or opt out from the situation.  Sometimes, the best way is invest in yourself, and let go of the need to control the outer world. The deeper purpose is to learn to trust yourself, to be aware that you are makign your decision and no on could ever take control of you unless you let them be.  The uncertainties in life happens almost everyday, there must be a least energy consumption way for us to walk through such choatic events, without involving in every situation that 'inviting' us.  Remain silent, get back to calmest you, help you make better decision.  


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